Rudolph’s Secret Diary
Rudolph Image Credit: lawa
It is a little-known fact that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer keeps a secret diary. In it he writes his innermost thoughts about his job as Santa's lead reindeer.
Rudolph has allowed eParenting exclusive access to this diary, giving us a fascinating insight into the run-up to Christmas.
Read on for more about the lead-up to Rudolph’s big day……
18th December
What a week! I love Christmas; it is the most exciting time of the year, building up to the big day, with that handy dry run on the 5th December round those cute little European countries! Now in these final two weeks we reindeer must get as much R&R as possible - so tonight it’s the office Christmas party.
It promises to be really good this year – fancy dress! Prancer is a big Elvis fan, does a good impression too. Donner and Blitzen are going as Posh and Becks, and Dasher is going as a Christmas tree which has dropped its needles.
Unfortunately I cannot think of anything to go as myself, I can’t go as a hat stand, because Dancer has already bagged that idea, and I can’t go as a Belisha beacon, I did that last year……
19th December
The Christmas party was a night to remember. (I went as a Belisha beacon after all. It took me so long to paint the stripes that I arrived a bit late and everyone else was too tipsy to notice anyway).
I’m never sure if a karaoke is a good idea when the alcohol supply is unlimited. Prancer’s rendition of ‘Return To Antler’ was flawless. ‘Deer Comes The Rein Again’ by Dancer was OK and 'Hoof Let The Dogs Out' was a riot. FC rather let the side down by falling over in the middle of ‘Merry Xmas Everybody’ by Sleighed.
There are a few hangovers at the North Pole today, but the sleigh-pulling ‘First Team’, as we like to think of ourselves, was a paragon of restraint compared with the reserves, two of whom are still in A&E with alcohol poisoning.
20th December
I love Christmas and I’ve got some good ideas for presents this year. FC as always says that we must not get him anything since he is the boss. So we usually club together and get him a giant sized tub of Alker-Seltzer which he really appreciates after all the sherry and mince pies.
I’ve got the best idea for presents this year. Since all that travel can get so boring I’m getting everybody a subscription to Audible so that we can listen to some books while we’re flying around. I am so clever!
21st December
I’ve just realised that the Audible subscription would have been a great idea…..except that of course we are a bit busy on Christmas Day so we don’t exchange presents ‘till Boxing Day. I will have to spoil it a bit by giving them out on Christmas Eve.
Anyway today we had our office Christmas lunch.
We took FC and Mrs FC to our local, ‘The Jolly Elf’ for a slap up dinner. To be honest I had a few too many glasses of wine and skived off early in the afternoon for a nap. Then ‘Die Hard 2’ was on telly so I had to watch that. Flying around and around in a snowstorm is something I can really empathise with.
22nd December
One of the highlights of Christmas for me is the carol singing. Every year we all go out carol singing to raise money for the ‘North Pole Home for Distressed Elves’.
For the elves who can no longer work through age or injury the Home for Distressed Elves is a lifeline. Some end up there due to back injuries from loading up huge dolls houses. Some simply hit their thumbs with a hammer one too many times. A few develop allergies to toy stuffing materials.
We are all proud to be able to help them out, and this year is no exception. I shall be right in the centre if the group. That way we don’t have to carry torches.
23rd December
Whilst the elves are busy making toys you may wonder what we reindeers do for the rest of the year. It is our job to do intensive research into what presents children will be asking for this year. Now this was an easy task for many years; an apple, an orange and some nuts was fine for years.
Then came television, and children started to be a bit more particular about their gifts, wanting a toy that they had seen on TV. This was tricky for the elves and many had to be extensively retrained in many skills such as electronics, mechanics and robotics.
The days of a job for life in the workshop or the sewing department are now long gone. Nowadays the elves are a multiskilled team, a flexible modern workforce who can adapt to change. We reindeers have had to modernise our working methods too.
As far as the reindeer are concerned, for a while, reading the toy industry journals and watching TV was sufficient. Now we are like spies, bugging the offices of top-level toy executives, and surfing the internet constantly for a whiff of a possible toy trends for Christmas months before Christmas.
24th December
I always get a bit nervous on Christmas Eve, I try to have a bit of a lie-in to save my energy but I’m too excited to lie in bed. There’s always some last minute work to do, and everyone has to pitch in.
I usually try to get one of the cushier numbers, opening the late letters to Santa, checking our stock levels to see if the requested toys are available and trying to select a suitable substitute if we don’t have any left.
If only kids realised that they have to get their requests in early, we just can’t make a complicated toy at the last minute. Some of the reindeer help with wrapping but I’m just too ham-hoofed for that. Besides, I’m getting pretty good with the computer. Last January I auctioned off all the surplus toys on eBay.
25th December
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
26th December
The audiobooks went down a treat! Unfortunately Vixen lost her iPhone somewhere over Iceland mind you, so some kid is going to get a bit of a bonus treat!!
I gave my nose a bit of extra polish this year to make sure we could all see to use the controls. FC got a bit annoyed at noise when Comet kept turning his volume up too loud and confiscated his phone for an hour.
Well it’s another year over, so we reindeer get to put our hooves up for a few days before we start working towards next Christmas. I hope your Christmas was good, and I wish you a Happy New Year!
About Rudolph: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is Santa Claus' lead reindeer. While not helping Santa deliver toys on Christmas night, his hobbies include pretending to be a UFO and standing on cliffs as a warning light to shipping.