Learning To Play With My Child

by Allison Marlowe

Q. My husband had a very turbulent childhood and as a consequence finds it difficult to know how to ‘play’ or interact with our children – are there any books/courses/people that could help him to gain more skills and confidence?

A. It may come as a surprise but many parents never really had the opportunity to play as a child and therefore don’t instinctively know how to help their children to play either.

There are a vast number of circumstances available in which play can take place. Sophisticated and expensive toys are not required, but what is vitally important is a commitment of time from a parent. The most effective role an adult can take is to follow the child’s ideas and activities.

Some parents manage to turn play into teaching. They become the ‘expert’ telling the children how to do everything so that play turns into a series of commands, questions and criticisms. The easiest way to avoid doing this is to simply describe what you see your children doing.

A suggestion here is to try giving a running commentary on what you see the children doing, or adding sound effects, for example to accompany what the child is doing (e.g. animal noises). At first this may seem artificial and not very natural, but giving a running commentary like this is extremely rewarding to the child because it gives them real attention.

You can’t give a running commentary unless you are watching and listening to your child intently. Attention is the most precious thing children need and seek most of all, we all feel valued and cared for when someone listens to us and this is exactly what you would be doing for your children here.

You may also like to take a look at www.ukparentcoaches.org where parent coaches would be able to help you more with building confidence.

One book I highly recommend is The 7 Day Parent Coach by Lorraine Thomas which has an excellent chapter on creating more time to enjoy your family.

About the Author:
Allison Marlowe is passionate about parenting, she has over 20 years of extensive experience working professionally with children and their parents and before re training as a life coach was an Early Years lecturer in further education. She founded the successful Pace of Life Coaching and co-founder of UK Parent Coaches. She lives with her husband and four children and knows first hand the challenges many parents face.

Contact her today on 02392 644598 to see how she can help you find solutions to any parenting situation, from sleepless nights to rebellious teenagers, juggling childcare to finding some regular time for yourself, you will be able to reach your full parenting potential and develop a positive relationship in which to raise happy, responsible and confident children.

Allison continues to work in local authority settings alongside training, consulting, assessing and running a coaching practice. She regularly contributes to both local and national press including Psychologies magazine.

Lorraine Thomas' The 7 Day Parent Coach is available at Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com

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